Watch the second video –fast forward one hour and nine minutes to Gwen McDonald –this is the most amazing
As you can see this is an old book of mine:
Australian psychologist and hypnotherapist, Peter Ramster created a television documentary in 1981 He also wrote a book that was published in 1980 Called “The Truth About Reincarnation” where he regresses subjects to past lives for which he is able to check details.
The following video is an hour and three quarters
If you don’t want to watch it all fast forward an hour and nine minutes to Gwen McDonald –this is the most amazing
I have experienced many past life regressions am only going to share the first one and a funny one:
The first past life regression that I experienced was at a psychic group at Kent Town SA. (I think it was 1980)
Instead of a guided meditation the man running this group took us back to our very last life.
Only four of us achieved this and everyone else complained that it was supposed to be a meditation.
I wrote mine down in an exercise book as soon as I got home. I kept this book for years but it disappeared last century when my 2nd husband moved out. Pity!
I still remember much of the information from this regression.
I was an American Marine in Borneo either during or just after the Second World War. At the time I had no idea the war went to Borneo. I checked all the information that I could in the library. I also didn’t like the “Yanks” back then so had no desire to be one. I have since visited the USA and know how friendly and welcoming Americans are.
I died when the b12 I was in (I was the gunnner; not the pilot) was shot down.
(This sensation of spinning downwards to my death was brought back to me in my present life when a pilot friend took me up in a Victor (two seater aeroplane) cut the motors and spun the plane downwards without warning me. -He was trying to show off.)
I was 19; male and the middle child of three boys. My name was Harold. I saw my home but not my parents.
As I was born this life in February 1949 I would have come straight back after I died. But knowing that I do not understand the nature of reality and accepting that linear time is an illusion anything is possible.
A friend of mine took me to a past life.
I was walking toward a well in a cobblestone courtyard.
As soon as I appeared everyone else scattered.
Immediately I came back to waking reality and couldn’t stop laughing.
I said “I don’t know who I was but they didn’t like me.” (I may have been a leper?)
FOLLOWING IS A PAST LIFE REGRESSION/MEDITATION
If you don’t “see” just trust the concepts that come into your head
I have used this “meditation” with my Wiccan groups
and my psychic development groups
I believe the regression is possible because linear time is an illusion
I asked “clairvoyantly” about “the meaning of life” which strangely enough isn’t 42 (Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy)
The answer I got was more a concept than words but translated:
I was asked if I could conceptualize NO LINEAR TIME and when I said “No” I was told that “they” couldn’t explain.
Namaste
I love the meaning of this word
The quote is from chopra.com One of the most common translations of namasté is “The divine light in me bows to the divine light within you.”
In the following book I hope to help those who wish to develop their clairvoyant abilities.
In “The Clairvoyant Experiences Of A Sceptic” I told a few of my clairvoyant experiences.
Listening to others similar stories made me realize that
it is so much better if you can have these experiences first hand.
Kung fu tz (Confucius) say “Perseverance prospers”
So don’t give up – you will succeed
And use the recorded meditations in my blog
The clairvoyant Experiences of a Sceptic is not a literary masterpiece
but a true story. I majored in sociology not literature
I dont know the meaning of life:
nor understand the nature of reality:
I do know physical death is not the end.
And there are so many amazing stories omitted so as not to break client confidentiality.
The second part I wrote as therapy and had not intended to include.
It wasn’t included in the original l publication
( I started shaking when I tried to write about the abuse so it is badly written and a great deal omitted)
A SHORT STORY ABOUT HEALING THE BLUE PLANET
I wrote and published this sci fi short story a few years ago (under the above title) when the human population was only 7.4 billion:
(1st published 4th April 2017)
It is now 8 billion.
Our cultural norms and the Protestant Ethic are causing the extinction of all life.
I wrote this as social satire and sympathetic magic
I realize my writing style doesn’t fit what people expect
My excuse –I majored in sociology not literature 😛
I wanted to put my idea that humans are not indigenous to the planet
A few lines from this short story:
“Most humans think that those who live in harmony with the environment are primitive and inferior. Actually they don’t think.
They just mindlessly conform to what those in power and their entertainment media tell them.
They are really stupid but consider themselves superior to all other life forms because they talk:
They think if something or someone doesn’t talk they don’t understand.
They thoughtlessly destroy everything. They call some creatures vermin, when humans are the vermin. They kill insects and destroy all the trees despite the fact that insects and trees are essential.
And everything literally goes down the drain polluting the oceans instead of nourishing other life.”
I have several friends who don’t believe in clairvoyance or surviving death
On the rare occasions I mention a clairvoyant experience that amazed me they just look at me with disdain or make some comment implying that I am either making it up or delusional
Although I dislike being “called” a liar (honesty is important to me)
these are true friends
I don’t need them to believe me – I know it to be true
so I tolerate their attitude.
People tend to believe that a belief in God and heaven is necessary for a belief in an “afterlife”
Surviving death isn’t synonymous with a religious belief.
We do not understand the nature of reality.
(or at least I don’t)
It appears we exist in an alternate reality when we are “not here”! In this reality the electrons are apparently moving at a different speed around the protons and neutrons so it is out of phase. ( This is my very limited understanding of quantum physics)
Another misconception is that people have to be “earth bound” to communicate with the living:
NOT SO!
I asked “clairvoyantly” about “the meaning of life” which strangely enough isn’t 42 (Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy)
The answer I got was more a concept than words but translated:
I was asked if I could conceptualize NO LINEAR TIME and when I said “No” I was told that “they” couldn’t explain.
We may all be in a huge holodeck:
As suggested by Star Trek Next Generation —
And “What The Bleep”
“Ship In A Bottle” season six — Star Trek Next Geneeration
In the “special features” of What the “Bleep” they mention that Professor WilliamTiller gives the mathematical constructs of a hologram that we “are” living in.
(William A. Tiller is a professor emeritus of materials science and engineering at Stanford University)
Until the following I suspected clairvoyance was wishful thinking and vivid imagination
The incident that convinced me that clairvoyance was a reality happened at work. I was a student nurse at Strathmont Centre. I was washing dishes with a male staff nurse. We didn’t have kitchen hands in those days. Kym was six feet tall and rather heavy set and had long blonde hair. A man (deceased) flashed in (when I see or hear things they flash in a fraction of a second) He had Kym’s high forehead and similar features but wore a suit with a crepe ribbon and a cross and had a short back and sides haircut and dark hair.
I asked Kym if his father was a minister. He asked me why and initially I would not answer. I eventually told him what I saw and Kym told me that it was his uncle. He asked me what denomination his uncle was.
I did not know.
After Kym left the kitchen I asked his uncle, whom I could no longer “see”, what he had died of. The words were that fast all I could make out was sclerosis. Because we were with the intellectually disabled I thought “tubular sclerosis?” Then I realized it was multiple sclerosis.
When we were having a tea break Kym told me that his uncle died of multiple sclerosis. I was amazed and said that his uncle had “told” me this!
Kym said “Get more”! I informed him that I couldn’t.
But I saw panama hats and monkeys. I said “He was a missionary in South America” Kym said “Yes”. I then saw masks and a jungle and said he was also a missionary in New Guinea. Kym told me this wasn’t so. When Kym came to work the next day, he said that his mother had confirmed that her brother was a missionary in New Guinea. This showed that I wasn’t just reading Kim’s mind.
NAMASTE
I love the meaning of this word
The quote is from chopra.com One of the most common translations of namasté is “The divine light in me bows to the divine light within you.”
This is from a meditation group that I attended in 1980 – the man running the group played the tape and I was able to get a copy
Unfortunately I no longer have this tape so cannot credit the lady who first recorded it
Most chakra balancing that you will find online start at the base and work up
This one which I have been using since 1978 starts at the crown and works downward ending with “grounding”
The sound is poor on this (don’t know why)
so you will have to turn it up -sorry
Namaste
I love the meaning of this word
The quote is from chopra.com One of the most common translations of namasté is “The divine light in me bows to the divine light within you.”
Watch the second video –fast forward one hour and nine minutes to Gwen McDonald –this is the most amazing
As you can see this is an old book of mine:
Australian psychologist and hypnotherapist, Peter Ramster created a television documentary in 1981 He also wrote a book that was published in 1980 Called “The Truth About Reincarnation” where he regresses subjects to past lives for which he is able to check details.
The following video is an hour and three quarters
If you don’t want to watch it all fast forward an hour and nine minutes to Gwen McDonald –this is the most amazing
I have experienced many past life regressions am only going to share the first one and a funny one:
The first past life regression that I experienced was at a psychic group at Kent Town SA. (I think it was 1980)
Instead of a guided meditation the man running this group took us back to our very last life.
Only four of us achieved this and everyone else complained that it was supposed to be a meditation.
I wrote mine down in an exercise book as soon as I got home. I kept this book for years but it disappeared last century when my 2nd husband moved out. Pity!
I still remember much of the information from this regression.
I was an American Marine in Borneo either during or just after the Second World War. At the time I had no idea the war went to Borneo. I checked all the information that I could in the library. I also didn’t like the “Yanks” back then so had no desire to be one. I have since visited the USA and know how friendly and welcoming Americans are.
I died when the b12 I was in (I was the gunnner; not the pilot) was shot down.
(This sensation of spinning downwards to my death was brought back to me in my present life when a pilot friend took me up in a Victor (two seater aeroplane) cut the motors and spun the plane downwards without warning me. -He was trying to show off.)
I was 19; male and the middle child of three boys. My name was Harold. I saw my home but not my parents.
As I was born this life in February 1949 I would have come straight back after I died. But knowing that I do not understand the nature of reality and accepting that linear time is an illusion anything is possible.
A friend of mine took me to a past life.
I was walking toward a well in a cobblestone courtyard.
As soon as I appeared everyone else scattered.
Immediately I came back to waking reality and couldn’t stop laughing.
I said “I don’t know who I was but they didn’t like me.” (I may have been a leper?)
FOLLOWING IS A PAST LIFE REGRESSION/MEDITATION
If you don’t “see” just trust the concepts that come into your head
I have used this “meditation” with my Wiccan groups
and my psychic development groups
I believe the regression is possible because linear time is an illusion
I asked “clairvoyantly” about “the meaning of life” which strangely enough isn’t 42 (Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy)
The answer I got was more a concept than words but translated:
I was asked if I could conceptualize NO LINEAR TIME and when I said “No” I was told that “they” couldn’t explain.
Namaste
I love the meaning of this word
The quote is from chopra.com One of the most common translations of namasté is “The divine light in me bows to the divine light within you.”
In the following book I hope to help those who wish to develop their clairvoyant abilities.
In “The Clairvoyant Experiences Of A Sceptic” I told a few of my clairvoyant experiences.
Listening to others similar stories made me realize that
it is so much better if you can have these experiences first hand.
Kung fu tz (Confucius) say “Perseverance prospers”
So don’t give up – you will succeed
And use the recorded meditations in my blog
The clairvoyant Experiences of a Sceptic is not a literary masterpiece
but a true story. I majored in sociology not literature
I dont know the meaning of life:
nor understand the nature of reality:
I do know physical death is not the end.
And there are so many amazing stories omitted so as not to break client confidentiality.
The second part I wrote as therapy and had not intended to include.
It wasn’t included in the original l publication
( I started shaking when I tried to write about the abuse so it is badly written and a great deal omitted)
A SHORT STORY ABOUT HEALING THE BLUE PLANET
I wrote and published this sci fi short story a few years ago (under the above title) when the human population was only 7.4 billion:
(1st published 4th April 2017)
It is now 8 billion.
Our cultural norms and the Protestant Ethic are causing the extinction of all life.
I wrote this as social satire and sympathetic magic
I realize my writing style doesn’t fit what people expect
My excuse –I majored in sociology not literature 😛
I wanted to put my idea that humans are not indigenous to the planet
A few lines from this short story:
“Most humans think that those who live in harmony with the environment are primitive and inferior. Actually they don’t think.
They just mindlessly conform to what those in power and their entertainment media tell them.
They are really stupid but consider themselves superior to all other life forms because they talk:
They think if something or someone doesn’t talk they don’t understand.
They thoughtlessly destroy everything. They call some creatures vermin, when humans are the vermin. They kill insects and destroy all the trees despite the fact that insects and trees are essential.
And everything literally goes down the drain polluting the oceans instead of nourishing other life.”
Seeing James Cromwell on “Sunrise” —morning television –
motivated me to re post this
He was saying how visiting an abattoirs in the mid 1970s caused him to become vegan
Wiser and well known people have advocated for other life forms and the ecology long before me.
Peter Singer
Albert Schweitzer
John Newton (wrote Amazing Grace)
Irving Stowe and Dorothy Stowe, (founders of GreenPeace)
Casey Affleck
Alec Baldwin
James Cromwell
David Attenborough
And many many more
And there were movies
“The Day the Earth Stood Still” (re make)
And “Avatar’
“Let them eat cake”
a famous quote attributed to Marie-Antoinette, the queen of France during the French Revolution. As the story goes, it was the queen’s response upon being told that her starving peasant subjects had no bread.
Most people have this attitude and response to starving wild life.
e.g.
I am often told
“don’t feed the birds they have to find their own food”
People don’t realize that humans in western culture have destroyed the homes and food sources of all other life forms.
Our norms and attitudes are causing the extinction of all life.
In our culture we don’t share with one another; never mind other life forms.
Karl Marx who advocated sharing – communism – is seen as evil.
And please know China and other so called communist countries have “state capitalism” not communism.
(I wrote a paper on Karl Marx when I majored in sociology)
Some one told me not to go on about the ecology because there is nothing that they can do:
but they and you can:
Do what you can in the microcosm
Feed the birds even if your neighbours abuse you because they don’t want the noise and the poop.
Don’t chop down trees
Trees don’t light fires
humans do
Makes more sense to get rid of arsonists rather than trees
Google eco friendly homes and gardens for ideas:
Don’t use poisons:
Try your best to adhere to ahimsa
Don’t kill insects and mice etc
Enjoy your day
A SHORT STORY ABOUT HEALING THE BLUE PLANET
I wrote and published this sci fi short story a few years ago (under the above title) when the human population was only 7.4 billion:
(1st published 4th April 2017)
It is now 8 billion.
Our cultural norms and the Protestant Ethic are causing the extinction of all life.
I wrote this as social satire and sympathetic magic
I realize my writing style doesn’t fit what people expect
My excuse –I majored in sociology not literature 😛
I wanted to put my idea that humans are not indigenous to the planet
A few lines from this short story:
“Most humans think that those who live in harmony with the environment are primitive and inferior. Actually they don’t think.
They just mindlessly conform to what those in power and their entertainment media tell them.
They are really stupid but consider themselves superior to all other life forms because they talk:
They think if something or someone doesn’t talk they don’t understand.
They thoughtlessly destroy everything. They call some creatures vermin, when humans are the vermin. They kill insects and destroy all the trees despite the fact that insects and trees are essential.
And everything literally goes down the drain polluting the oceans instead of nourishing other life.”
In the following book I hope to help those who wish to develop their clairvoyant abilities.
In “The Clairvoyant Experiences Of A Sceptic” I told a few of my clairvoyant experiences.
Listening to others similar stories made me realize that
it is so much better if you can have these experiences first hand.
Kung fu tz (Confucius) say “Perseverance prospers”
So don’t give up – you will succeed
And use the recorded meditations in my blog
The clairvoyant Experiences of a Sceptic is not a literary masterpiece
but a true story. I majored in sociology not literature
I dont know the meaning of life:
nor understand the nature of reality:
I do know physical death is not the end.
And there are so many amazing stories omitted so as not to break client confidentiality.
The second part I wrote as therapy and had not intended to include.
It wasn’t included in the original l publication
( I started shaking when I tried to write about the abuse so it is badly written and a great deal omitted)
CREATIVE CONSCIOUSNESS MEDITATION
I recorded Creative Consciousness meditation earlier this century at the request of a psychic development group that I was running at the time.
TREE MEDITATION paraphrased from Mother Wit by Diane Mariechild —- it is a great book if you can find it.
Am sure you are better at finding things on Google etc than me 😛 — I couldn’t find it.
ASTRAL PROJECTION
Also from Mother Wit
Past life regression
I wrote this meditation — it has been successful when used in psychic development classes.
Clairvoyance is developed through practice:
my daughter suggested this book
I hope that it helps people
In the following book I hope to help those who wish to develop their clairvoyant abilities.
In “The Clairvoyant Experiences Of A Sceptic” I told a few of my clairvoyant experiences.
Listening to others similar stories made me realize that
it is so much better if you can have these experiences first hand.
Kung fu tz (Confucius) say “Perseverance prospers”
So don’t give up – you will succeed
And use the recorded meditations in my blog
The clairvoyant Experiences of a Sceptic is not a literary masterpiece
but a true story. I majored in sociology not literature
I dont know the meaning of life:
nor understand the nature of reality:
I do know physical death is not the end.
And there are so many amazing stories omitted so as not to break client confidentiality.
The second part I wrote as therapy and had not intended to include.
It wasn’t included in the original l publication
( I started shaking when I tried to write about the abuse so it is badly written and a great deal omitted)
A SHORT STORY ABOUT HEALING THE BLUE PLANET
I wrote and published this sci fi short story a few years ago (under the above title) when the human population was only 7.4 billion:
(1st published 4th April 2017)
It is now 8 billion.
Our cultural norms and the Protestant Ethic are causing the extinction of all life.
I wrote this as social satire and sympathetic magic
I realize my writing style doesn’t fit what people expect
My excuse –I majored in sociology not literature 😛
I wanted to put my idea that humans are not indigenous to the planet
A few lines from this short story:
“Most humans think that those who live in harmony with the environment are primitive and inferior. Actually they don’t think.
They just mindlessly conform to what those in power and their entertainment media tell them.
They are really stupid but consider themselves superior to all other life forms because they talk:
They think if something or someone doesn’t talk they don’t understand. They thoughtlessly destroy everything. They call some creatures vermin,
when humans are the vermin. They kill insects and destroy all the trees despite the fact that insects and trees are essential.
And everything literally goes down the drain polluting the oceans instead of nourishing other life.”
Namaste
I love the meaning of this word
The quote is from chopra.com One of the most common translations of namasté is “The divine light in me bows to the divine light within you.”
I don’t believe in what western culture calls karma
(It is not an accurate interpretation of the word — I studied world religions as an elective at uni)
In my life experience what goes around doesn’t come around
My mother had most people convinced she was a lovely person
Yet she was an abusive lying narcissist
She had a good life for 93 years
So many of our culture’s accepted architypes and norms are not true
One is that mothers love their children
There are many of us who were not loved by our mothers–many more than I originally thought.
Some whose mothers didn’t love them are fortunate to have a spouse that does –others go through life never being loved
I could claim to be writing this in support of those who have suffered parental abuse:
IT IS partly my motivation
But my main reason is I tire of people telling me how lovely my mother was
It wasn’t until this century that I admitted to myself that she was horrible
I always loved her and thought she was beautiful
And I have just been reminded of a Christmas where she kicked and bashed me for no apparent reason
(I was 42 years old)
Having suffered abuse from being a baby (flash backs to wheni was in a cot)
I attracted abusive partners
A doctor whose mother was abusive told me that people sense those who will tolerate abuse and we attract abusers
I thought my mother most beautiful and intelligent,
So it must be because “I am useless a failure a disappointment neither use nor ornament –cannot do anything right” that she didn’t love me
(This she told me regularly and reinforced by making me do everything at least 10 times –and still not right – when I was young –and constantly criticising me when I was an adult)
Even in this day and age if i commented about my mother’s abuse –the reply was “you must have deserved it”
If I told people that my husband was abusive I was either called a liar or told “I don’t want to know”
It is hard to love oneself when one has never been loved
(I have the best children and grandchildren so I am loved but it doesnt help me love myself)
I am in my 70s I still have no self confidence and constantly criticize myself
This year I had been trying to love and forgive my mother– never lasts – not long before I am reminded of her lies.
Psychologists tell us to try and understand what a parent’s life was like.
They also say “Go to a time and place when you felt safe” – there isn’t one
I have flash backs to when I was still in my cot
Imagine what it is like for a child whose mother would just change into a screaming bashing psycho without warning
When my first child was born – her advice was – “if she cries put her in her cot:
shut the door
and let her cry herself to sleep “
I didn’t follow this advice
Must have happened to me but I don’t remember
I was never hugged
I have blocked out a lot of my abuse but somethings will occasionally trigger a flashback.
When I was already going to school my mother pushed me into the wood burning part of the wood stove when it was lit and shut the door: She then pulled me out: wrapped me in a blanket and told people that she had saved my life after I crawled in. I had first degree burns.
When I was ten my mother was bashing me with a scrubbing brush and had also washed my mouth out with soap.
I said to her “I haven’t done anything wrong”
and she told my that she just felt like bashing me.
Despite this, for over half a century I believed that I deserved abuse because this is what everyone told me.
“YOU MUST HAVE DESERVED IT”
Last century when i still thought my mother was lovely (and the reason I was abused was because I deserved it) I occasionally let her mind my children and my first husbands nephews who lived with us
Brett was 23 when he told me how abusive my mother was to him
He was four when I asked her to mind the children while I was at work
I didn’t hear about how horrible she was to his brother Shane until after her funeral
On one occasion she had tied Shane to a kitchen chair with an electric cord and taken the other children to the zoo
So he couldn’t go to the toilet or even get a drink of water
This century my mother’s physical abuse was limited to slapping me across the face when she felt like it
But her mental abuse was “full on”
When my Dad was dying I took her to the hospital every day and we stayed for most of the day.
I had been helping the morning shift and when the roster changed Mother went crying to the RN who came back and glared at me.
When we collected Dad’s things after he died this RN told me off for abusing my mother!
My Dad was a lovely person but was never allowed to pay me any attention or my mother would have a screaming fit.
On his death bed he asked me to look after her.
I did so, not just because I had promised Dad that I would but because I was hoping that my mother would love me and be nice to me.
NEVER HAPPENED
She would say nice things about me to people that knew me and tell these lies to people that didn’t
Sometimes the stories would come back to me:
othertimes I would wonder why people were being nasty to me for no reason
She would tell lies about how horrible Dad was or how horrible I was to her and most people believed her
I was almost 64 when she died so I am not going to rave on about a life time of her abuse
It would fill a large book
Toward the end she wasn’t allowed to be alone so until I got her a placement in the nursing home she stayed with me – I slept on the couch an gave her my bed
It was difficult to get a placement for her because nursing homes liked people to have an house to sell as a deposit
Mum had an housing trust unit – which she insisted I keep paying the rent on because she thought she would go back.
When I eventually found her a placement in a local nursing home her clothes had to have name tags pressed on. She apologised to the staff for my being too lazy to sew them on. Although this time her attempt at insulting me didn’t work the staff just presumed it was her age!
So many of our culture’s accepted architypes and norms are not true
One is that mothers love their children
There are many of us who were not loved by our mothers–many more than I originally thought.
Some whose mothers didn’t love them are fortunate to have a spouse that does –others go through life never being loved
I could claim to be writing this in support of those who have suffered parental abuse:
IT IS partly my motivation
But my main reason is I tire of people telling me how lovely my mother was
It wasn’t until this century that I admitted to myself that she was horrible
I always loved her and thought she was beautiful
And I have just been reminded of a Christmas where she kicked and bashed me for no apparent reason
(I was 42 years old)
Having suffered abuse from being a baby (flash backs to wheni was in a cot)
I attracted abusive partners
A doctor whose mother was abusive told me that people sense those who will tolerate abuse and we attract abusers
I thought my mother most beautiful and intelligent,
So it must be because “I am useless a failure a disappointment neither use nor ornament –cannot do anything right” that she didn’t love me
(This she told me regularly and reinforced by making me do everything at least 10 times –and still not right – when I was young –and constantly criticising me when I was an adult)
Even in this day and age if i commented about my mother’s abuse –the reply was “you must have deserved it”
If I told people that my husband was abusive I was either called a liar or told “I don’t want to know”
It is hard to love oneself when one has never been loved
(I have the best children and grandchildren so I am loved but it doesnt help me love myself)
I am in my 70s I still have no self confidence and constantly criticize myself
This year I had been trying to love and forgive her– never lasts – not long before I am reminded of her lies.
Psychologists tell us to try and understand what a parent’s life was like.
They also say “Go to a time and place when you felt safe” – there isn’t one
I have flash backs to when I was still in my cot
Imagine what it is like for a child whose mother would just change into a screaming bashing psycho without warning
When my first child was born – her advice was – “if she cries put her in her cot:
shut the door
and let her cry herself to sleep “
I didn’t follow this advice
Must have happened to me but I don’t remember
I was never hugged
I have blocked out a lot of my abuse but somethings will occasionally trigger a flashback.
When I was already going to school my mother pushed me into the wood burning part of the wood stove when it was lit and shut the door: She then pulled me out: wrapped me in a blanket and told people that she had saved my life after I crawled in. I had first degree burns.
When I was ten my mother was bashing me with a scrubbing brush and had also washed my mouth out with soap.
I said to her “I haven’t done anything wrong”
and she told my that she just felt like bashing me.
Despite this, for over half a century I believed that I deserved abuse because this is what everyone told me.
“YOU MUST HAVE DESERVED IT”
Last century when i still thought my mother was lovely (and the reason I was abused was because I deserved it) I occasionally let her mind my children and my first husbands nephews who lived with us
Brett was 23 when he told me how abusive my mother was to him
He was four when I asked her to mind the children while I was at work
I didn’t hear about how horrible she was to his brother Shane until after her funeral
On one occasion she had tied Shane to a kitchen chair with an electric cord and taken the other children to the zoo
So he couldn’t go to the toilet or even get a drink of water
This century my mother’s physical abuse was limited to slapping me across the face when she felt like it
But her mental abuse was “full on”
When my Dad was dying I took her to the hospital every day and we stayed for most of the day.
I had been helping the morning shift and when the roster changed Mother went crying to the RN who came back and glared at me.
When we collected Dad’s things after he died this RN told me off for abusing my mother!
My Dad was a lovely person but was never allowed to pay me any attention or my mother would have a screaming fit.
On his death bed he asked me to look after her.
I did so, not just because I had promised Dad that I would but because I was hoping that my mother would love me and be nice to me.
NEVER HAPPENED
She would say nice things about me to people that knew me and tell these lies to people that didn’t
Sometimes the stories would come back to me:
othertimes I would wonder why people were being nasty to me for no reason
She would tell lies about how horrible Dad was or how horrible I was to her and most people believed her
I was almost 64 when she died so I am not going to rave on about a life time of her abuse
It would fill a large book
Toward the end she wasn’t allowed to be alone so until I got her a placement in the nursing home she stayed with me – I slept on the couch an gave her my bed
It was difficult to get a placement for her because nursing homes liked people to have an house to sell as a deposit
Mum had an housing trust unit – which she insisted I keep paying the rent on because she thought she would go back.
When I eventually found her a placement in a local nursing home her clothes had to have name tags pressed on. She apologised to the staff for my being too lazy to sew them on. Although this time her attempt at insulting me didn’t work the staff just presumed it was her age!
I tried my best to practice ahimsa before I was aware of this word/concept
Impossible in a culture that believes only humans have a soul and only money matters
I Have fed the local birds ever since I moved here
Mindless automatons tell me
“Do not to feed the birds -they are meant to find their own food”
It doesn’t occur to them that the human plague (of 8 Billion) has destroyed the homes and food sources of all other life – making so many extinct.
The larger birds (carnivores) kill the smaller birds for food because thanks to homo sapiens there are not enough mice worms or small reptiles for them to eat
A couple of years back in Australia they started culling the kookaburras to stop them killing the smaller birds
I feed the crows too –one neighbour has complained about their noise
The other has told me that she likes the Ibis (that I feed) but not the crow.
Crows like many other life forms are disliked because of cultural programming
The crow I feed, feeds the baby before she? feeds herself
I wasn’t able to take a photo because the baby flies away when I walk outside – comes back when I go in.
Humans have this effect on me — have said I am anthrophobic for decades – don’t think it is an actual word)
And then there are kangaroos which most farmers consider vermin and kill them
In the 1970s I was a member of the original Greenpeace
We were labelled dangerous radicals
I was ridiculed and abused for being in Animal Liberation and a vegetarian
This has changed
These days I am abused for caring about insects moths and spiders
And told that insects are vermin and dangerous to my health
Humans are dangerous–
Considering all the positive changes in my life time I am optimistic that
the caring, intelligent people will prevail and stop all life from becoming extinct.
Enjoy your day
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