LOVE SELF

I am sharing this to help others so please don’t feel sorry for me  — I can do that all by myself

I had 63 years and 8 months of physical and mental abuse from the person who gave birth to me

I loved her and all I wanted was for her to love me–never happened.

I have flash backs to when I was still in my cot.

I am not going to elaborate on physical abuse:

suffice to say that I had no siblings or extended family

 –there was no television

so I didn’t know my mother’s behaviour wasn’t normal for well over a decade.

I also believed that I deserved abuse because most people told me that I must have.

I was never hugged.

The mental abuse consisted of criticising everything I did.

Plus as an adult (and after Dad died) she would make up stories of how horrible I was to her and people would tell me off.

Anytime someone paid me a compliment mother would say it wasn’t true.

Her statement to me  for a long as I remember was-

“you’re useless: a failure: a disappointment: cannot do anything right: neither use nor ornament.”

Psychologists say “go to a time that you felt safe” which is of no help to those of us who don’t have one.

More people are aware of cell memory these days

although my programming is still there (and I am almost 76 years old) I work through it with affirmations

e g. .I love myself  – I trust myself.

I succeed to perfection in everything I attempt.

I’ve been sharing this statement from Deepak Chopra for two decades

I am reminding myself as I sometimes doubt what I think

Deepak said  —

“Every cell in the body has neuropeptides

So every cell thinks

Better to trust your gut

As it hasn’t learned to doubt what it thinks”

I have children and grandchildren that love and support me in my old age

I should have called this book LIFE AFTER DEATH as my experiences convinced me that this life isn’t all that there is –

The clairvoyant Experiences of a Sceptic is not a literary masterpiece

but a true story.

I dont know the meaning of life:

nor understand the nature of reality:

I do know physical death is not the end.

And there are so many amazing stories omitted so as not to break client confidentiality.

The second part I wrote as therapy and had not intended to include.

It wasn’t included in the original l publication

( I started shaking when I tried to write about the abuse so it is badly written and a great deal omitted)

I wrote this short story as social satire and sympathetic magic

The idea that we were genetically engineered is from Mayan writings plus my belief that humans are not indigenous to the planet

The concept of translocation was once a practice pre Roman Empire and apparently still is in some so called primitive cultures

He idea that humans were livestock for the gods is mine but am sure others have thought this

I chose Ophiuchus because I was I was drawn to this constellation

I chose Kunapipi because I respect and admire the wisdom and spirituality of indigenous Australians